Pass or Fail
by dots27
Summary: What if April didn't fail her boards? What does it mean for April and Jackson? A different possibility to the April board results storyline. One in five people fail the boards. That's what she had told them. Deep down, April didn't think it would be her.


Author's Note: So this is my first fanfiction in a looong time. And only the second that I've actually posted on here. It took me a while to sit down and write it but I did it finally. I just finished getting caught up with season 8 of Grey's and I'm pretty obsessed with the Japril storyline so this story will focus on that storyline. I'm pretty excited about where it will go.

It begins with the party at Meredith's house with everyone celebrating board results in S8E23. It follows that same party but things just unfold a little differently. I don't want to give too much away.

Italics are flashbacks to scenes from the board-episodes.

Disclaimer: What disclaimer? I totally own the show, the characters and the storylines! No one believes me? Ok fine, I own nothing.

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Pass or Fail

She danced along side Meredith and Cristina, waving her hair around as she jumped on the couch. Everyone drinking and celebrating the fact that all the late study sessions, crappy night shifts, and bad surgeries finally paid off. All thanks to one exam that decided their future. One stupid test.

"We passed our boards!" Meredith shouted, jumping onto the couch.  
"We killed the boards!" Cristina yelled over the music.

And they passed. All of _them_ passed anyway.

"_What time you got?" Jackson asked, the frustration clear in his voice.  
"It's 12:04," said Cristina. _

_She saw all four of them anxiously staring at their phones. Their thumbs hitting the refresh button repeatedly._

_She didn't stop as she rushed passed them, off the bus and into the hospital. "Gotta pee. Gotta pee."_

Someone's phone was ringing.

"Music! Music!" Cristina shouted. Meredith quickly moved to turn down the music.

Cristina looked for her phone amidst the chaos that was Meredith's living room. She jumped off the couch to grab it off the table.

"This is Dr. Yang," she said responding to the call, all hints of drunkenness gone.

No one made a move in the room.  
April, still standing on the couch, listened to Cristina's end of the call.

Cristina looked up smugly, "Mayo wants to give me research lab. Guess whose back in the running?"

April gripped her bottle of beer even tighter. The alcohol barely minimized the sting and envy of hearing the offer her colleague received.

Nonetheless she threw her arms up in the air and cheered with everyone else.

"Yeah Cristina!"

"Yeah April!"

Across the room, Jackson and Alex watched the girls dancing on Meredith's furniture.

"Kepner's wasted. That's a first," Alex laughed, taking a sip of his beer.

Jackson's eyes were already fixed on April. They still hadn't had a proper talk about what happened in San Francisco and he was starting to get paranoid. Did she regret it? Did she blame him for breaking her promise to Jesus? Was she going to stop avoiding him anytime soon?

Jackson let out a frustrated breath. "Yeah, well lately she's been all about – firsts."

April could feel Jackson's stare drilling holes into her from the other side of the room. Whatever. She could not deal with _that _talk right now. It didn't matter now anyway. Talking about it wasn't going to make her a virgin again or make her board results suddenly change from FAIL to PASS.

Did she regret sleeping with him? She hadn't completely decided either way yet. Sure sleeping with Jackson felt good, really good. But she broke her promise to Jesus.

"_I broke my promise to Jesus and now I can't even talk to him. And I need him. He's the only one who can calm me down!"_

"_Why the hell did you do it? Why did you let me?"_

Sure maybe if she didn't sleep with him, she may not have freaked out as badly as she did.

"_You find that the patient has advanced metastatic disease and is terminal. What do you do?" The examiner looked up from her notes, straight at April. _

"_Honestly? I'd pray for them," April said, breaking the daze she was in. "I know that's not the right answer but that's what I'd do first. Or at least if you asked me yesterday, that's what I'd do. Now I'm not so sure if he's listening."_

"_Dr. Kepner this is highly inappropriate," said the second examiner interrupting. _

"_Yeah well so is having premarital sex in the men's room with a really good friend, but that just happened, so…" April chuckled at herself. _

Then again, she was April Kepner. She probably would've been freaking out anyway – virginity lost or not. That second time in the bathroom though, that probably could've waited.

"_Yeah but then I kissed your neck."_

_She bit her lip as she watched Jackson lock the bathroom door._

"_Yeah and then I took off your shirt," he replied as he walked slowly towards her. _

"_And I," she paused, feeling her heart race. "But then I unbuckled your belt."_

She shook herself from the memories. Throwing her head back, April finished the last of her beer. Looking up, her eyes met Jackson's stare. She needed more alcohol, now.

She stumbled across Meredith's living room to the table covered in drinks. April reached for a bottle only to have it snatched out of her hands.

"Hey!" She lost her balance as she turned around to yell at the culprit.

"Maybe you've had enough for one night April. You're gonna feel like crap tomorrow," Jackson said, moving a hand to her side to steady her.

"Maybe you need to drink s'more Dr. Jackson," she said teasingly poking him in the chest with her index finger. "You, my friend, are clearly too sober for someone who passed their boards and is supposed to be celebrating," she said, reaching for another bottle.

"I think you've had enough for both of us," he said watching her pour another drink as she danced along to the music.

"Anyways April, I think we should talk. I just think its weird that we're not even talking about it," Jackson said, trying to get her attention as she danced in front of him. "You know things are unresolved here," he shouted over the music.

Oh god she could not do this right now. She was so not ready to pick apart her feelings and talk about it. She was always attracted to Jackson. With those eyes, his smile, and that body - who wasn't? Even Teddy stuttered that one time when he turned on the charm with her.

But that didn't mean she was delusional enough to think that they would ever be more than friends. Besides she never even got the chance to entertain that thought between his relationship with Lexie and her all-over-the-place-feelings for Derek and then Alex, plus that Stark sort-of non-relationship.

It was all just too much for her to deal with right now. It wasn't fair that a few days ago everything in her life was on track, balanced. And now, its as is she got shoved off the side of a cliff, plunging into an unfamiliar chaos.

Jackson was still staring at her, waiting for some kind of reaction.

She went back to swaying with the music as a new song started and playfully patted his shoulder, "We're still friends. Its all good Jack-maan!"

April was just going to keep celebrating with everyone else tonight because that's all she could do. It was her own fault that she lost her virginity and that she couldn't keep her composure during the boards. It was her own damn fault that she had to put on a smile and pretend to celebrate like everyone else because she lied about her results, pretending she passed.

_She rushed through the sliding doors to meet the rest of the group outside. Quickly hitting the refresh button on her phone to get her results. She saw them all jumping together and cheering, clearly they all got good news. _

_She looked down at her phone._

_April Kepner – FAIL_

_Her mouth went dry and her eyes immediately filled with tears. How was it possible? One in five people fail the boards. That's what she had told them. Deep down, she didn't think it would ever be her. _

_Jackson was the first to notice her in the doorway standing in shock. "April?"_

_She looked up from her phone to see them all look at her expectedly. _

_The shock set in and as the tears fell, she found herself laughing at the absurdity of the situation. She – April Kepner – had failed her boards. _

"_Well don't keep us in suspense! Did you pass?" Meredith asked._

"_Yeah, yeah," she looked up at them. "I passed."_

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Ok what did you think? Good? Bad? Did it make sense? Please share your thoughts and suggestions. I'd love to hear what you thought and if you think it's worth continuing.


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